Posted: April 2nd, 2014 | Blog | 1 Comment

How to find…

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You don’t need a crystal ball to figure out if he or she is the right one for you.  This year I celebrate 32 years of being married to Marie. People ask me how I knew that Marie was the one.

Frankly, I got really lucky or blessed whichever way you want to put it. My son Joseph who has been married more recently put out an article that is worth reading that can help answer this question.

His ideas are for fresh, he’s only been married a few years, and I can only agree. Here’s the article:

Ask any married person how they knew that their spouse was the one they wanted to marry, and most of the time the answer is,

“I just knew.”

That answer irritated me so much while I was single. How does that help me now?

But now that I’m married, that would be my response as well. I knew that I wanted to marry Carla.

But while that’s true, there are some qualities that we can look at to help us discern the true character of another person. It doesn’t have to be a total mystery or shot in the dark.

Now these aren’t deal-breakers or relationship enders. If you’re okay with your partner being this way, then good for you.

So here are some TELL-TALE SIGNS:

1. How do they treat family members?

How a person speaks to their family members is very indicative of how they’ll treat their future spouse. There are exceptions this rule of course, but generally if a person is irritable or rude to their family, you can count on them being that way to their spouse one day. If the person is kind and supportive to their family, they’ll probably be the same to their spouse.

2. How do they respond to irritating or even aggravating situations?

Everyone can put their best foot forward for a while. But stress and anger can reveal the real us. As my friend, CJ says, “Nakita mo na bang magaalit yan?” Do they belittle waiters, drivers, and maids? Are they able to hold their tongue? Can they express their disappointment without becoming hurtful?Do they bring up disagreements to heal the relationship or to assign blame?

3. Can they admit their mistakes, ask for forgiveness, and change?

Of all the skills I have, the one I’ve used in marriage the most is saying sorry and asking for forgiveness. (Surprisngly, my bo staff hunting skills haven’t been useful at all.) More important than finding a perfect partner who never makes a mistake, find someone who demonstrates the humility to admit that he/she is not perfect and asks for forgiveness. This is the one thing that can give you hope because any situation can be improved if the person is willing to be humble.

These are just some of the ideas of tell-tale signs that give us a peek into the other person’s character. What would be some of your tell-tale signs? Please share!

Visit Joseph’s site, he has other interesting stuff on marriage and relationships. Would love your comments.

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One Response to “How to find…”

  1. Louella May says:

    Always blessed when I read Joseph’s blogs. His spiritual insights and practical godly advice on family, relationships, finding the right life partner, marriage and also in ministry are all truly helpfully and insightful. You are truly blessed to have an eldest son whom God is using wonderfully in so many ways to bless others. God grace, bless and use you and your family more!

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