Why Should I Submit to my Husband?
CONVERSATIONS:
A wife asked me “Why should I submit to my husband?”
The basic answer is “Because God says so.”
Let’s make things clear. We’re NOT encouraging you to mindlessly submit yourself to something sinful or dangerous, or blindly following abusive wife-beaters or adulterous, delinquent husbands.
Neither are we talking about only submitting when your spouse can finally meet all your requirements.
We are assuming that the basics are in place, being married to a man who makes the effort to provide and care for his wife and family.
The book of Ephesians 5, admonishes wives to submit. But it also commands husbands to love their wives just like Christ loves his church! Those are 2 seemingly impossible scenarios.
It even goes on to say: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”. Ephesians 5:21
The more accurate question to ask is:
Q. What makes it such a challenge for us to submit?
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ALL of us, left to ourselves, are selfish creatures. It’s true for adults and kids; men and women. We are basically selfish. Living with someone, 24/7 is guaranteed to bring out the best and the worst in us.
The Bible describes us this way: Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous, no one who does what is right and never sins. Ecclesiastes 7:20
We have different personalities and interests. If marriage only involves 2 people, it can become a tug-of-war, with each insisting his/her way is better.
Q. How then Can I Submit/Love my spouse?
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A. Decide today who will be the Boss of your life.
Who will rule your life? Will it be you, your own abilities and your emotions? Will it be your spouse? Or will it be the Lord Jesus Christ? Who will be obeyed when you have a conflict?
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“But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve…But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15 NLT
Make your Marriage a Love Triangle with God in the middle. Marriage is not a tug-of-War between 2 opposite people. It is more of a Love Triangle: you, your spouse, and God in the middle.
“Though one may be overpowered, 2 can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12
When love is lacking, let the unconditional love of God for you, reassure you that He has not abandoned you.
God is the steady anchor that keeps you from drifting apart when stormy emotions arise. We all make mistakes. But it is amazing how marriages can heal and grow stronger when we allow the power of God to take over our marriage.
If God is the Lord of your marriage, then you can depend on Him for the results.
God allows the seasons of life to strengthen our character and mature us. “The same hot water that hardens an egg, softens a carrot.”
Will we allow circumstances to harden our hearts towards God and our spouse? Or like Jesus, will we respond humbly and say “I don’t understand why things are the way they are, but “Father, let not my will, but yours be done.” ?
Prayer:
Dear Father,
On my own, it is difficult for me to submit and to love unconditionally. But I want a marriage and family that glorifies you. I also want to leave a godly example for my children.
Jesus, be the Lord of my marriage. It’s not my role to change my spouse. It’s my role to obey You and allow You to do the changing in us. Have your will and way in my life and our marriage, in Jesus name, Amen.
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