Uncaged Freedom
Freedom is rooted in love. Hence the freedoms we enjoy are rooted in love. Here are two examples:
A father who loves his wife and children would want to provide for them. So the free food, clothing and shelter that his family enjoys are products and manifestations of his love for them. In the same way, the reason why we get to enjoy the liberties bestowed us as citizens of our nation is because of the love of those who served to fight and protect those liberties in the first place. I am sure you can think of other examples.
While some may argue that they get free things from companies such as internet, coffee, candies, et cetera. But the reality is that as customers and employees, they give back to the company in terms of the business, time and effort they put in exchange for the free products. There is nothing free about this situation, nor is there any love found here.
Things that are truly free come without any returns or exchanges. Now, some things may look like they are free but the truth is that they are not. They are made to look free to lure us into doing something for the people and institutions that offer them.
Setting Your Spouse Free
While there are many expressions of freedom that spouses provide for each other, nothing quite cuts it as forgiveness. It is the single act that always sets us free.
Unforgiving spouses imprison each other by confining the other in guilt and condemnation, keeping them from being free to love us back. Both spouses then are deprived of the very freedom that love espouses. On the other hand, when we as a couple learn to forgive each other on a regular basis, we consistently and persistently set each other free. Forgiveness, after all, is an expression of love.
The Other Side of the Story
While it’s true that we should willingly forgive our spouse, there is another side to the story: the act of asking for forgiveness.
This is just as important as forgiving our spouses because in doing so do we admit that we have wronged our spouses. I have found that the times I simply asked for forgiveness from Marie allowed her to forgive me more easily than the times I became defensive, proud, aloof, or insensitive of my infractions.
I am reminded of the story of Adam and Eve. God, in wanting to restore His relationship with Adam and Eve, engaged them in the garden after they sinned against Him. While his desire and intent was to forgive them, their refusal to admit and own up to their sin left God with nothing to forgive.
Open Door, Still Locked
Oftentimes we think of forgiveness as a get out of jail pass; not realizing that forgiveness is not about getting out of prison but about being free to return to the person who loves us.
The image that comes to mind when I think about the fake kind of forgiveness is one of a bird that chooses to remain in its cage even after the door has been opened for it to fly out. This is what it means to be forgiven by God. He has already opened the prison doors for us by forgiving us. But if we refuse to admit our wrongdoings, we remain stuck in a prison filled with guilt and condemnation. Even worse, we have escaped from our prison but we killed the relationship in the process by becoming distant to the person afterward.
Always Be Quick
Let me put this all together. Always be quick to forgive for in doing so, you express love by setting your spouse free. Conversely, always be quick to admit your errors thereby creating an opportunity for your spouse to forgive you.
This way you don’t just open the door and save the relationship, you also keep each other free to fly closer to one another. This was the way Jesus set us free to get out of our prison and enjoy an eternal relationship with the Father.
Read related articles:
How to Kill your Marriage
Love Strained
The Love Fruit
The One Lesson That Changed my Christmas
Why We Keep Watching Love Stories
Love and a Warm Heart
Love is not a Verb
How to trust in Troubled Waters
The Truth about Bad Breath
The True North of Trust
The One Lesson That Changed My Marriage
How to Turn the One Lesson Into Reality
The Risk and Responsibility of Trust
The History of Trust
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