Love and a Warm Heart
As a pastor I have often heard wives question the idea of submitting to their husbands, as to the Lord. And after they have said their piece, I remind them that the verse actually says that wives should submit to their husbands in "everything.-
Then, as if this isn't enough, some of them go ballistic with questions like, "What if your husband has proven to be faulty in decision-making?- and a host of other questions.
Why Wives Can't Complain
It is at this point that I remind these women that while submitting to a limited, imperfect man is often not an easy thing, they really have nothing to complain about.
Why? Because while the Lord commands wives to submit to their husband's in everything, husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church. I'll say that again: Husbands, the standard of your love for your wife is Christ's passionate, devoted and unwavering love for the church.
I must admit at the number of times I have felt incapable and burdened at the thought that I cannot love my wife in the same way Christ loves me. That commandment was more impossible to follow than that of my wife submitting to me in everything.
And for that, wives, you can't complain.
A Husband's Mission
And it does not stop there. Not only are husbands supposed to love their wives as Christ does, the Bible also commands husbands to love their wives as their own bodies, to love her as he loves himself (Ephesians 5:28). This is where the Bible and marriage come full circle, as Paul quotes Genesis saying "a man shall leave mother and father and be united to their wives.- (Ephesians 5: 31; Genesis 2: 24)
This means that when my wife is hungry, I can feel her hunger. When she is in pain, I feel her pain. When she is happy, I am happy and so on. Wow, that's hard, if only because it can only be achieved supernaturally.
So what husbands face is a difficult quest that can only be completed through supernatural means—now this is what you call mission impossible.
Grappling, Struggling and Obeying
My wife often complained that I was insensitive and not very good at empathizing. So every time I was with her, I grappled with the question of "how, in this moment, would I love Marie just as Christ loved His Church and gave Himself up for her?-
But over the years, I learned that there's something about faith and trusting in the Word of God that makes loving your spouse not as difficult or burdensome. Whether you are a wife who's questioning the logic of submitting to your husband or a husband who's struggling to learn to empathize with your wife; this truth applies to everyone. The word of God works—and always works—when we fully trust, believe and obey it.
It was only when I got serious about obeying God in this area of my life and believed that His word was reliable and true that I eventually began to empathize with Marie.
Warm Heart
Amazingly, I started to enjoy empathizing with Marie. It made the Bible come alive and I got to experience the reality that only a marriage could give; the reality of two people miraculously becoming one.
Then it happened. At first I thought it was a fluke until it kept happening again and again. Initially it happened when I have been travelling and on the road for a while. Then it transitioned to even the simplest of encounters; like whenever Marie would enter a room.
It wasn't everyday. It did not happen often, even. But every time it did, the sensation was unforgettable. I would, over and over again, feel that same warm sensation right smack at the center of my chest. And all was well.
I've heard other husbands talk about similar experiences. They were not all the same, but they all experienced being one in flesh with their wives as they obeyed the Word of God and received its promise.
Read related articles:
Love is not a Verb
How to trust in Troubled Waters
The Truth about Bad Breath
The True North of Trust
The One Lesson That Changed My Marriage
How to Turn the One Lesson Into Reality
The Risk and Responsibility of Trust
The History of Trust
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