Love is Not a Verb
As I've mentioned in my previous post, love is the motivation of a marriage. It is what drives us to serve our spouses instead of the other way around; our daily journey of becoming other-centered with our spouses. I don't know about you but this sounds like a pretty tall order to follow. And like all things complicated, the best way to learn something is to first understand what it is.
Love, luv, amore, L-O-V-E <3
Love is arguably the most spoken, sung and written about topic in the world. Everyone just has something to say about it. Hollywood's take on love would either be expressed through a song about heartbreak or a movie dripping with cheese. A medical take on love would talk about endorphins being released to a person's neurotransmitters. Sociologists liken love to be a romantic and marital phenomenon. There are just so many different takes on love by so many of these "experts,- it is no wonder the rest of us are so misdirected and confused about love!
Love is not/Love is
The truth of the matter is that we're not supposed to try and define love. Try as we might, we will never succeed. To define something is to encase it in a box and you can't do this with love.
Love is beyond human comprehension, wit or experience, beyond a gut instinct, a fleeting emotion or a lifetime decision. Because love is not a what but rather a who. God is love (1 John 4: 7).
God Himself is love. He didn't need to create man to experience love; He could already experience love within Himself. Theologians could only conclude that God created man out of love, out of Himself. This brings me to the point that what one needs in order to love is not man, but love Himself.
What love becomes
A friend once narrated to me a memorable incident of hers that took place over a year ago. She sat in a small group and the leader asked the group to define what patience was. The group responded with several answers, such as:
"Accepting someone else for who they are and loving them no matter what.-
"Seeing the beauty in another person and from this, dealing with them.-
My friend's favorite answer (and the one she remembers to this day) was the one that silenced all other answers. It was this: "Patience is the first definition of love.- (1 Corinthians 13: 4)
Patience is not one of my strongest factors. I am in fact a rather impatient man. But I have learned that without patience, love cannot be had; if only because it is the starting point of love ‚ "Love is patient.-
Hard Fruit to Grow
The Bible says that patience is a fruit of the Spirit. Just like a fruit that takes time to grow and requires "patience,- patience takes time to become what it should be. For instance while I may have learned to be patient with my wife when she is late for an engagement, I realize that I'm still impatient with her when it comes to other things.
But through the years I have learned and am continually learning patience through my daily interaction with God. I have seen how patient He has been with my shortcomings and long-time bad habits. Patiently, He has led me to overcome and arrive at the place of transformation.
His constant patience has motivated me, if not given me, the impetus to be more patient with Marie. True, it has taken years, but through it all I have learned to be more patient. After all, to learn patience means taking time.
To be continued
Read related articles:
How to trust in Troubled Waters
The Truth about Bad Breath
The True North of Trust
The One Lesson That Changed My Marriage
How to Turn the One Lesson Into Reality
The Risk and Responsibility of Trust
The History of Trust
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