How to Turn the One LESSON Into REALITY
In my last article, I wrote about the lesson that changed my marriage. To the over 6,000 people who "liked" the article I wish I could say that it is as simple as listening to a pastor's moving message or reading one article and voila, a changed marriage but that is far from the truth.
The lesson was like a discovery.While discoveries can initiate us to adopt a certain change in our lives, rarely do they produce a lasting difference. A good discovery should simply serve as a precursor that leads to something more important—desire.
The Power of Desire
No one can make you do something you don't want to do. I have found that my failure to change, it is not because I can't, but because I simply don't want to.Ultimately, it is a matter of wanting one thing more than another that becomes the impetus for change in our lives.
Think about students who have a hard time getting up in the morning for school. You'll find them to be the last ones arriving in class, but the first ones standing in line for the premiere showing of Spiderman or The Avengers. The difference? Desire.
People will always discover newer and better ways to live everyday. Unless these discoveries turn into desires, they will remain just great ideas that do not make a lasting difference. Real desire is a strong intense wanting for something, and is so much more than clicking a "like" button.
Making A Decision
After having my own eureka moment about marriage, I went home with a desire and an intention to make a change. But the change came slowly and eventually the desire to change waned. It was not until I made a decision to genuinely change that a real transformation took place.
Discoveries bring about a desire to change. Although this is good, no amount of desire will make a lasting difference until you decide to commit to change. The operative words here are "until you decide.- And until you make that decision, you are like a chain smoker who discovers that smoking causes cancer and genuinely want to change, but still won't quit.
The Bible says that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways and should not expect to receive anything from God. This is the Bible's way of saying that indecisiveness gets you nowhere.
From Decision to Discipline
If discovery is realizing the need to climb a mountain and desire is wanting to make the climb, decisiveness is buying the gear, getting up in the morning and putting on your climbing shoes.
While this paints a good picture of change, the reality of it is much easier said than done. In most cases, change may prove to be just as difficult as climbing a mountain. It's easy to start but difficult to continue when one gets to the more challenging parts. This is where discipline comes into play.
Discovery leads to a desire that necessitates a decision. But once you find yourself in the trenches, it is only discipline that will make the lasting change.
The Path of the Four Ds
Over the next weeks, I will be writing a series of articles about marriage. The goal of these articles is to help you discover things that will help your marriage, instill in you a desire for a successful one, and actually make the decision to make changes for the better.
I will also include some exercises that, with a little discipline and dedication, will move you closer to your destiny in marriage. Read them together with your spouse and, get on the road of:
Discovery -> Desire -> Decision -> Discipline.
In case you aren't married but plan to be someday, read on. Better yet, share "The One Lesson That Changed My Marriage- to others you know will benefit from it. Ciao'.
Read also: The One Lesson That Changed My Marriage
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