Unmechanical
This post ends our series on communication. We have seen that communication involves words, listening and action. But there is, however, the most powerful thing we need to be aware of when we communicate with others: the spirit.
Have you been around people who told you the right thing but for some reason did not communicate it in the right spirit? I have. Better yet, I have been guilty of doing exactly this.
Hearing Without A Word Spoken
There is an interesting verse that is recorded in Genesis 3, right after Adam and Eve sinned against the Lord.
“Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden.” (Genesis 3: 8)
Adam and Eve didn’t have to see the Lord to know where He was; they already felt His presence among them. This was the power of God’s Spirit communicating with them. It was also the same Spirit that convicted them of their sin and caused them to hide from God. In this story, no words were said and yet God’s mere presence was communicated.
At the end of the day, communication is spiritual. The spirit by which we communicate with our spouse matters just as much as our words and actions.
The Silent Treatment
When Marie and I had issues during the early years of our marriage, we would enter into what I now call the “silent zone” (others call this the silent treatment). We did not say anything to each other but we would both know that things were not good between us.
For instance, when I have offended Marie, she does not say anything but her silence communicates that something is not right. Even more so when I knock on a locked bathroom door and get no reply – the silent treatment speaks volumes.
How and why does that happen? That’s because our spirits speak in a way that oral and written words cannot. Conversely, Marie can sit silently with me when I am stressed and without words, communicate how much she sympathizes with my situation.
Combining All Four
From God’s playbook, we can combine all four of communication’s basics so we can communicate clearly and effectively with one other. In the Garden of Eden, God did not start communicating with Adam and Eve using words. He began by communicating with His Spirit. And instead of giving a sermon or making a point, God asked them a question.
“Where are you?” was God’s way of asking where they were in their relationship with Him, where they were in spirit. What followed was a set of questions designed to make Him listen instead of speak:
“And He said, ‘who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?’” (Genesis 3:11)
“Then the LORD God said to the woman, ‘What is this you have done?’” (Genesis 3:13)
Finally, God takes action and kills animals just to wrap Adam and Eve in their skin and blood. This sacrifice sends God’s message of love by covering them despite their sin and rebellion. At the same time He sets them out of Eden, a communication of love, righteousness and justice so clear that it cannot be misunderstood.
In my previous posts, I pointed out how communication is to marriage what photosynthesis is to plants. Communication is what maintains the health of a marriage. It’s the exchange of life: the healthier the exchange, the healthier our marriages get.
Read related articles:
Words Without Action
Ping-pong
The Final Ingredient
No Ordinary Prison
Uncaged Freedom
How to Kill your Marriage
Love Strained
The Love Fruit
The One Lesson That Changed my Christmas
Why We Keep Watching Love Stories
Love and a Warm Heart
Love is not a Verb
How to trust in Troubled Waters
The Truth about Bad Breath
The True North of Trust
The One Lesson That Changed My Marriage
How to Turn the One Lesson Into Reality
The Risk and Responsibility of Trust
The History of Trust
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