Love Strained
Last week, I wrote that there was but one fruit of the Spirit (love) and from it sprung several, specific characteristics. Here is a recap of those characteristics:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…” Galatians 5:22-23
I also wrote about the frustrations I’ve had with myself in not being as loving a husband as I should be. Thankfully, it was this particular revelation from the “Fruit of the Spirit” that assuaged my frustration and more importantly, given me the strategy to love Marie.
Killing the Frustration
Love is a fruit. And like any other fruit, it needs to be connected to the vine (or branch) in order to grow and mature into a fully ripened one. Similarly, we need to remain connected to the Lord in order to experience the way He loves and become more like Him. This is how our relationship with God progressively shapes and matures the way we love others.
From this, the first thing I did was to adjust the expectations I had set for myself and for Marie. I learned to put my trust in the fact that as I continue to grow in my relationship with God, it will be God (and not me) that will be the One to make my love grow and improve over time. Yes, I know that I will still sometimes fail in some areas but it will also be God’s love that will work within me, correcting the mistakes I make along the way.
The Strainer of Love
Meanwhile, as God continues to progressively transform me, I live my life with love using what I have grown to call the “strainer of love.” What I do here is that I picture love as an orange being squeezed into a glass. And in order to get the best results, I have to use a strainer.
Here’s how it works: Whenever I find myself in a “tussle” of sorts with Marie, I use my love strainer to prevent the wrong things from going into her glass. I ask myself, “Will the words I am about to say make me a loving person? Do they communicate patience and kindness? Am I creating an atmosphere of peace? Am I being gentle, etcetera.”
My love strainer allows me to keep the wrong things out and the loving things in. So while I do not yet have the mature fruit of love, I am able to give a quality of love that is, in some measure, better by using my love strainer.
Imagine the Day
As we keep ourselves connected to Christ, the fruit of love continues to mature in us. We become more loving, patient, kind, joyful, peaceful, good, gentle faithful and self-controlled.
But while we find ourselves still in the process of growing a love like His, we can use this ‘love strainer’ to give our spouses the best fruit of love in our lives. After all, this is how God intended our marriages to be.
Once in a while, I like to imagine the day when I am able to love my wife in the perfect manner of the Spirit. I’m not there yet but, as I continue to hold onto God, I am progressively getting closer. And if I, with all my faults and imperfections, can get to that place one day through God’s love…so can you.
Read related articles:
The Love Fruit
The One Lesson that Changed my Christmas
Why We Keep Watching Love Stories
Love and a Warm Heart
Love is not a Verb
How to trust in Troubled Waters
The Truth about Bad Breath
The True North of Trust
The One Lesson That Changed My Marriage
How to Turn the One Lesson Into Reality
The Risk and Responsibility of Trust
The History of Trust
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