Connecting beyond the obvious
In order to connect with a group of successful young businessmen in Jakarta and realizing that most of the men were educated in the United States, I asked the group: "As a businessman is your posture Malthusian or Cornucopian?
Much of western economic thought gravitates toward Malthusian or Cornucopian camps. Thomas Malthus a British scholar was an Anglican minister who wrote extensively on matters of economics that leaned towards limited resources. Cornucopian thought came from the Greek's idea of the "horn of plenty" or that there is unlimited supply that can be had with sound practices, as pictured above. I personally believe that the truth is somewhere in between.
My goal in bringing this up was to connect with them. Being a pastor I wanted the men to feel that I understood the world they lived in. I was thinking of Paul's words, "I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some." Their response however indicated that I did not connect, they asked, "Maltoo who? Cornoo what?" Here are three thoughts I learned that evening that may help you connect better:
1. Education is not culture. Even though each man was educated in the United States their way of thinking did not automatically shift into Western thought. Culture does not shift because of education, it shifts because of values. Education may inform us about something but what changes our culture (or way of doing life) is when we have taken the information to heart and turned them into our values. To connect well we should be sensitive to what's valuable to the people we are connecting with.
2. Culture is powerful. Western connection tend to be cerebral. Just because these men lived and did business in the West did not mean that their way of doing life (or culture) has shifted. Instead when the food and drinks came the connection was instant. The conversation flowed just as the food did. Be sensitive to the culture of the people you are connecting with.
3. Listen and observe. As the conversations continued one of the men told me that the seat I was sitting in was where his boss died. Apparently we were sitting in the exact spot where a terrorist bomb had exploded some years back. It was opportunity to connect with the man at a deeper level with something that was clearly on his mind that was so far removed from Malthus or Cornucopia.
Keep connecting and would appreciate your thoughts on how to turn connections into opportunities to lead people closer to God and others.
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