How Boundaries Can Set Us Free
"If Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are divorcing, what hope is there for the rest of us?"
I was checking the news on social media the other day, and the trending topic was:
"Angelina Jolie files for divorce from husband of 2 years, Brad Pitt."
One magazine responded with a caption the "death of love in 2016" under a picture of the good-looking Hollywood couple.
The premise was, if people as gorgeous as these two can't even stay married, then who can?
How ironic is it, that what many people look for in a lifetime partner are often based on these external qualities: good looks and financial status.
Yet more and more marriages with these two ingredients are still breaking down. It leads us to conclude that:
1. Good looks don't guarantee a happy, long-lasting marriage.
2. Wealth is not enough to keep a marriage.
Maybe that's what has kept Joey and my marriage alive these past 34 years.We are not "celebrity gorgeous" and definitely don't have their money! :D
So what keeps a marriage going strong??Two Words: INTERNAL BOUNDARIES.
Boundaries are necessary for us to honor each other as individuals.I had to learn that lesson the hard way.
I was a mom driving her young boys to basketball class. Running late, I was desperately trying to find an easier route. So I decided to turn to a side road, ignoring the "DO NOT ENTER" sign. After all, I thought, there are no other cars, and "I'm so late!!!"
Well... Lo and behold, a policeman appears at the end of that road waiting for my car!In panic I immediately turned left to avoid getting caught, only to end up in a dead end road. In short, I had a lot of explaining to do! Not just to the policeman, but to my three young sons who had just witnessed their mama pass a "Do Not Enter" sign!
In these past series of blogs, I've been sharing on "How to Pray the C.O.R.E. way."
In my last blog, I talked about the importance of Praying for Clarity. You can read about that here and here.
Today, I'm talking about the importance of praying for Order; that we may be willing to accept Godly boundaries that are good for us(myself included).
1. PERSONAL BOUNDARIES ARE FOR OUR GOOD.
"The boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places for me; truly, I have a beautiful heritage." Psalm 16: 6 ISV
A doctor asked me an interesting question:?"What is a baby's first nursery?"
He continued, "Normally when we have our first baby we are so concerned about hygiene, cleanliness and keeping the baby room clean and germ-free. We scrub the room, wash the crib and beddings."
"We are so careful on who will touch our precious newborn infant.Every parent wants the best environment for his/her baby to grow up in."
"But a baby's 1st nursery is NOT the room you just painted pink or blue.A baby's first nursery is his/her mother's womb."
Then he paused and shook his head. "That is why I always tell young women and men, why are you allowing random sexual partners into your body????Don't you realize that the diseases and germs from sexual promiscuity could affect your future baby's first nursery? There is no Lysol or alcohol for that!"
2. OUR EMOTIONS MUST HAVE BOUNDARIES TOO.
In this age of social media, it is so easy to burp out whatever you are thinking or feeling. But not every thought needs to be tweeted.Not every fight needs to be made public. Not every emotion needs to be made into an emoticon.
1 Corinthians 14:40 (ESV) says: "But all things should be done decently and in order."
Learn to express your emotions at the right time and in the proper venue.Not just because you feel like it.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.
Ecclesiastes 3: 1
When couples blurts out their fights or marital disputes in public, rather than in private counselling with qualified marriage counsellors, they are doing more harm to their relationship. Why? Because the internet never forgets. It will keep reminding you of your wrongs.
God, on the other hand, is a God of grace.I have seen God do miracles in marriages that have been falling apart, because couples have been willing to exercise self- control, shut up in public, but do the necessary repair work in private with the right counsellors.Always leave room for God's grace to come and intervene. He has a proper time and way to do that.But we are often impatient:
"Then Jesus said to them, My time has not yet come, but your time is always ready."
John 7: 6 (NKJV)
3. BOUNDARIES BRING GOD'S BLESSINGS.
As we respect God's boundaries and his order in our lives, we can claim these promises :
Internal peace and security:
I praise you, LORD!
You are my mighty rock,
and you teach me
how to fight my battles.
You are my friend,
and you are my fortress
where I am safe.
You are my shield,
(Psalm 144: 1-2 CEV)
Godly protection and provision:
Praise the LORD, O Jerusalem!
Praise your God, O Zion!
For he strengthens the bars of your gates;
he blesses your children within you.
He makes peace in your borders;
he fills you with the finest of the wheat.
(Psalm 147:12-14)
So, Happy Boundaries everyone! Here's to practicing self-control and obeying "Do Not Enter" signs! 'Til next Thursday : >
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