Posted April 21, 2015 under Videos

How to Forgive the Unforgivable


Have you heard of “ the ball and chain” used for punishment?

In order to keep criminals from escaping, one ancient method was to attach a heavy iron ball to thick metal chains and latch it on a prisoner’s ankle.

It didn’t matter if the prisoner was alone, for as long as that heavy burden was locked and clamped on his ankle, there was no way for him to easily escape or run towards freedom.

Somehow, unforgiveness is like having a ball & chain clamped around your heart.

When a person does you wrong, it may be a challenge to forgive. But if we stay in an attitude of unforgiveness in our heart, just like that prisoner, we will never experience true freedom or live a healthy life.

Can you think of a time a person did you wrong? Maybe it was a recent argument and there was a heated exchange of words. Or maybe, it was a serious betrayal from someone you trusted.



David, in the Bible, also wrestled with injustice and unforgiveness. King Saul, who was his father-in-law, attempted to kill him several times, though David was innocent of any crime.

Let’s hear his words in Psalm 54:
1Save me, O God, by your name; vindicate me by your might. 3Arrogant foes are attacking me; ruthless people are trying to kill me — people without regard for God.

So how do we set ourselves free from the chains of bitterness?

1. Pour out your burdens to the Lord.
Just like David, you can come to God and tell him the wrong done to you.

Behold, God is my helper; The Lord is the sustainer of my soul.” Psalm 54:4

Give God your soul and emotions for His safekeeping.

2. Be confident that God is a just God.

“ . . . fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. Romans 12:19

How do these verses apply to your situation?



3. Choose to forgive even if you don’t feel like it.

“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.” - Corrie Ten Boom

If there was anyone who was ever unjustly punished, accused and maltreated, it was Jesus. Yet, despite the agony of his soul and the torture of his body, Jesus chose to forgive us.

We, ourselves, are in daily need of forgiveness. Only the mercies of God can set us free from our own prison of guilt.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

In turn, how does Jesus want us to respond based on the verse below?

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15



I pour out to you the hurt I feel. Give me the power to forgive. You are my avenger and righteous Judge. At the same time, remind me of your great mercy towards me.

When I am tempted to wallow in my hurt and unforgiveness, help me to remember how much You have forgiven me. Only You have the power to set me free from the prison of unforgiveness.

Help me to remember that Jesus paid the painful price for the cost of what was done to me as well as the cost of my own wrongdoing.

I repent of my own anger and bitterness even as I put my whole situation into Your capable hands. In Jesus Name, I pray. Amen.

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7 thoughts on “How to Forgive the Unforgivable”

  1. Mary Lim says:

    Hi, Pastor Joey Bonifacio.
    Cannot help myself not to be your reading your blogs.
    Spiritually enjoyable and blessed.
    I do not know of anyone that I have an argument with.
    Thank you so much.

  2. miriam says:

    Very inspiring. Must read everyday...

  3. rex says:

    Thank you Pastor for this. I believe God is talking to me thru this message. Now I am free... =') I have forgiven my earthly Father and my stepmom. I may not understand why this all happened but surely, God has a plan.

  4. jaycel says:

    Thank you pastor for this. Currently im experiencing hurt physical and emotional by someone i truly loved. And now, as i read this message, i realized taking revenge to this person is not appropriate. For this, i would like to thank you for saving me, myself and my soul to do such a thing. From now on, i will pour all my pain, physical and emotional to him because i know now that he will never leave me. God is just around waiting for me. And God has a good plan.

  5. eugene dela cerna says:

    Thank you Ptr for this worth-knowing-worth-sharing message. God bless you.

  6. Joseph Ryan S. Navarro says:

    Thank you Pastor Joey for this very inspiring teaching. I'm still holding a bitterness and grudge beneath my heart but I in my prayer I always forgive those who hurt me emotionally and out of jealousy. I know that God will do great things in releasing this pain in my heart. I forgive those people since God forgive me.

  7. Charmaine Dangautan says:

    I remember all the unforgiveness that was eating me before the burden, the struggles and the agony of everyday. But God is good i once had a counselling at Church-Victory Fort and this is all what Ptr told me. Thank you for this Ptr Joey. It made me think how my life is doing now than it was before. And it was all before of forgiving those people who have offended and hurt you 🙂 Very inspiring read

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